A little Hope

I gave up white stuff. White flour, white sugar, that sort of thing. Some of the books I was reading insist that fiber is the key to everything. And that High Fructose Corn Syrup is evil. I've been on this diet for about a month. I've lost 5 pounds without even trying and I do feel much better most of the time...when the fibro and ect aren't acting up. I also gave up the second pot of caffiene, one pot of tea a day for me now, with caffiene in it. My heart beats irregularly again and maybe this will slow that down. Now if I could just sleep...

Been walking the new dog we have each day, one lap around the neighbourhood at least and sometimes, when my back and muscles can stand it, more. And then a few nights a week I walk with the kids. I would like to get back into good enough shape to hike again, I used to love doing that and I forgot how much so until I started writing about it recently. When your body hurts its hard to consider doing anything.

But, all the books and doctors promise that the pain will go down if I lose more weight. Probably will, I dunno. I can dream, right?

Its Down to This

Ever wonder why fat people have so much trouble keeping weight off and why thin people never get fat? Well, thin people do get fat, that's why I'm here. For me, it's the thyroid and the fact that I'm ALLERGIC to synthetic thyroid preparations. But does a doc ever put me on real thyroid? No....afraid I'll become a mad cow or something. Well I am a mad cow, of a different sort. Come on this is just ridiculous. Diet and exercise only go so far.

HUH

Well well well...I'd gained a bit and not noticed, about 35 pounds. I'd tried back in march to put on a dress I used to be able to wear and lo and behold it no longer fit. I got depressed and decided to give up on dieting.

Yesterday, why I don't know, I got on the scale. I had noticed that my work uniform shirt was just a little big in the shoulder area. Lost 40 pounds. No idea how, when or why. But it is gone. And I am greatful enough to eat some more veggies this summer. Thankyou Lord for the encouragement.

Another Year

Another year, another determination to be healthier and thinner same time next year. More crap dug up from the past, more inquiries into the deep recesses of my psyche and yet, only precious few pounds gone. Sometimes I wonder if it's all pointless.

Voice in a Tea Cup

It is warm and soothing, Mom’s equivalent of the “elixir of life.” This is the best tea, brewed from round tea bags. The only things which produce a taste similar to that found at the English tea houses Mom used to visit each day. She drinks it light, with some sugar, so it’s a medium tan colour. It’s not too hot, just warm enough to soothe a sore throat or warm the belly.

It’s contained in a special mug, Mom’s mug, where a dark faerie defiantly guards the contents from any unauthorised drinkers. The mug fits perfectly in Mom’s hands, keeping them warm as the lot rests on the knee. She writes, thoughts tumbling into her pen automatically. When she is like this she is no longer me.

The mind drifts back to the place she first encountered the perfect cup of tea. Outside the AF base in Mildenhall England sat an establishment that had the appearance of a diner. She’d never thought about going inside, not once the whole two months she’d lived there. She walked past it every day on her way to work. Today she and her beau ran inside to escape the rain which had appeared suddenly. She ordered tea.

Unlike in the US, the tea arrived already prepared for her, complete with the cream and two sugars she’d requested. It pleased her that she did not need to mash the bag against the side of the cup like some ill-mannered barbarian. The sugar was raw brown sugar, she’d never used brown sugar in tea before, but this tea was heavenly. So was the Steak and Kidney Pie and the twinkle in his eyes. The best place to be in a downpour was here. She was happy, an event rare and cherished in her young life. A warm cup of tea can still do that, if it is prepared with care.

.....

Look, it’s just a cup, and I’m just tea. Ordinary tea. I can’t take you back in time, I can’t fix your life. A moment’s peace is not found here…only warm, sweet liquid to drink. Perhaps a few calories, the stimulation of the mind and possibly the colon. Other than this, I am nothing. Your heart, now that is something.

Ha!

I found that I was bloated and didn't gain all my lost weight back, I'm back to where I was. Tee hee. And I've been too sick to exercise. Blah.

Nothing New

Nothing new, go back to sleep. Do you want me to wake you when something interesting happens? Ok then.

Raven